


you shouldn't be watching me

by reginleit



Series: ec au [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 11:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1345231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginleit/pseuds/reginleit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>historical au. </p><p>your mouth was on fire and bone sore</p>
            </blockquote>





	you shouldn't be watching me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tantsija](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tantsija/gifts).



> warning for violence. unbeta'd.

his wrists burned as rope dug into the fleshy parts of his wrist, tight enough that it broke the skin. but the burning of his wrists were no match to the burning of his eyes. the unholy fire they held spewed hatred at the pair in front of him. slurs and curses poised on his tongue, ready to be slung at the king and prince. but the rag in his mouth stopped any of his verbal loathing from escaping, leaving it to stew inside of him. they cast him looks of distaste and wariness, as if he was a beast to be put down. oh, how he wanted to be. he wanted to be the beast at their door, scraping at their nightmares, chewing on their skin. 

how dare they judge him for what he had to do.

his sister's honor and virtue ripped from her against her will, and they had expected him not to seek revenge? he didn't even care about the honor anymore. what he cared about was coming home and seeing his sister curled up on the floor, eyes red from a grief that couldn't be expelled through tears. he saw how she shied away from touches now, closing herself deep in her room. he saw how she barely existed, withering away each day. king's advisor or not, he had stole away to tavern closest to the castle and thrust the crudely made knife into the stomach of the man who had destroyed his sister. he had twisted and turned and ripped out the knife, taking the entrails with him. then the kingdom soldiers had their way with him. beaten and bloody, he'd been thrown into a prison cell where he'd waited until this moment. 

"look at him." crowed the prince. "he hates us. he'd kill us too."

"the common folk have become much more feral in the years of the war. with half the soldiers away, they take it upon themselves to fall to witchcraft and satan." the king replied, voice silky. 

"father, look at him. caked in blood with a crazed look in his eyes? he killed one of your most trusted advisors, he needs to be punished." 

"he will. he'll be punished and then put to death, then in death, his true sentence will be given by God."

****

waking up was the worst part. at least in sleep, there was only inky blackness. he'd float in that darkness, never thinking about a thing. but then, the pain would return, inch by aching inch. it'd resonate deep in his bones and force him to open his black and blue eyes. there would always be a red film covering one or both of his eyes, from the split blood vessels of the last beating. they had long since chained him to the wall, even putting a muzzle on him for humiliation and because of the fact that he had bitten one of his tormentors in the neck, desperate to get them to beat him hard enough that he'd finally die. 

with a muffled groan, he twisted his body into sitting position, brow furrowing at the sound of laughter and voices approaches. his fingers curled into fists. where the guards returning for round two? he'd claw their eyes out this time. the prisoner in the cell across from him jolted to a sitting position as well, causing him to look at the other man.

"it's the queen." hissed the other prisoner. "once a moon, she comes into the cells and pardons a few lucky bastards. it'll be me. she always smiles at me when she walks by." the man hesitated and then glanced at him. "you on the other hand, won't be so lucky."

the growl was stifled by the muzzle. the sound of heels grew louder, and the voices more recognizable and feminine. as expected, gasps of horror escaped them at the sight of him. hurt pride lashed in his stomach. he'd once been handsome. now scars covered his body and dark, shaggy hair hung over his face. others might have kept their eyes downcast in the presence of the queen but not him. his eyes stared insolently at the group of females. or rather, he stared at the queen.

he'd never seen queen avanyr of the seven isles. he had heard she was beautiful and king, a contrast to her brute of a husband. the crown was perched carefully amidst her shiny, black hair. he'd never seen hair that dark, it looked almost blue. her eyes were, for sure, blue. at least, he thought they were blue. her gown was one of royal purple, but her dipped sleeves were white. and he looked at her. he looked and looked at her. 

"guard." her voice sounded, melodic. "what is this man's crime?"

when she gestured to him, he tensed. 

"your grace, 'e is the man that murdered your husband's advisor. 'e stabbed him in the tavern, ripped him apart with no warning or cause."

the guard's words sprung new fire into him, a snarl ripping its way up from his throat. he pulled on the chains in his fury, slinging hissed curses at the guard. in response, the guard stepped in front of the queen, as if he could protect her. shakes rolled up the prisoner's body, and he wanted to cry out the injustice. yes, he had murdered and he'd murder again but he would protest the cause any chance he had. 

"why is he muzzled?" the queen's question was almost unheard, but the guard turned to her.

" 'e bit one of the other guards. 'e's not right in the head."

"unmuzzle him. i would like to speak with him."

"your grace, i don't think that's a good id-" 

"unmuzzle him." the queen's voice was still soft and genteel, but steel had slid underneath her tone. the guard hesitated and then nodded, taking out the gold keys and unlocking the cell. the prisoner tensed as the man approached but he didn't move, not even when the muzzle was removed from his face, cheeks stinging where the straps had dug in. fresh air rushed into his throat, almost too fast and he wheezed, choking on the air. 

"is my loyal guard correct, ser?" the queen asked, eyes roving over his disheveled appearance. "are you not right in the head?"

"i'm as right as you and your lot, but for nobles that ain't saying much." the sneered response had the guard and her ladies squeaking in outrage. the queen laughed. 

"no, i suppose it isn't saying much. why did you kill him?"

"he forced himself on my sister." the prisoner was careful to enunciate every word. "treated her like a common whore when she had only gone out to buy eggs, and your king shrugged off my accusation. so i killed him." he was curt and cold, making sure to emphasize the last words. 

"do you regret killing him?" she asked, eyes curious.

"no. i'd kill him again. i'd kill the entire court if they did what he did." he knew he should stop making matters worse, but he couldn't help himself. "i'd kill your husband if i had to."

"treason!" this time, the guard did more than squeak, he slammed a meaty fist into the prisoner's jaw, causing stars to burst behind his eyes. 

"i choose him to pardon." the queen's declaration had to entire prison silent, even the prisoner shocked. the guard recovered first.

"y-your grace, he's dangerous. he'll kill again, y'heard him." 

"so put a collar on him, make him work in the castle, in the kitchens. you won't poison us, will you, ser?" the queen's lips curved up and the prisoner could only shake his head. he was incredulous, however. why would she choose him? what was her game? he tensed.

"that's what i thought."

****

he'd been scrubbed so clean that his skin still held a pinkish hue but there'd been no pleasure in the bath. instead, he had fought the men and women pouring water, the soap stinging his scars hard enough that it caused him to bite his tongue. he'd been shoved naked in a room, wet and shivering where the other servants had cast a dark eye upon him. they'd sneered and threw clothes at him, clothes three times too small. yet, they had been even more scandalized when he had thrown them back at him, he'd much rather go naked than to be humiliated again. 

a moment later, they had filed out and in had walked a large man with laugh lines around his eyes, but he hadn't been laughing. a small dark haired teenage girl had peered around the gigantic man but the man had pushed the girl out and shut the door. 

silence reigned. 

"i'm graham." the other man broke the silence first but he got no answer in reply. "not going to answer me? that's fine. the prison guards did a nasty number on you." graham perused him, and he fought the urge to twitch. 

"just a few rules and we're not going to have a problem. i don't care about you, but i care about the queen and the others in this castle. you stay as far from the queen as you can. you keep your distance from her ladies in waitings. and don't touch the bloody king. you touch the king, you won't ever be touching anything again for i'll cut off your hands and wear them around my neck." graham jerked a thumb behind him, toward the door. "that girl there is sutton. she's a sweet girl, and any bad word against her will gain you the ire of many a young men in this castle. are you understanding me?" graham was rewarded with a sharp nod. "good. glad we're on the same page."

****

"your hair is still shaggy."

his fingers stopped kneading at the dough as the melodic voice sounded behind him. he had memorized that voice ever since he had been freed from the prison. he didn't respond at first, half forgetting that he didn't wear the muzzle anymore. when he did respond, his voice was a rasp, rough from underuse. "i told them not to cut it."

"why?" the queen wasn't dressed extravagantly. on the contrary, if the crown hadn't been on her head, it would have been easy to just mistake her for a lady in waiting. she barely stood in the room, more out the door than in but he suspected it wasn't because she was wary of him. she spoke to him like one would a wild dog, not because she was afraid but because she wished to soothe him. "is it because you wish to remember the dungeon? some sort of memory to dwell on?"

"if i needed some sort of memory to dwell on, i'd get a mirror and look at the damned whipping scars on my back." he bit the words but the queen didn't flinch away, only looked at him with those hellfire blue eyes. he wished she wouldn't look at him but he met her gaze evenly, green against blue. 

"you're rather bold for a common man." she commented. 

"you're rather curious for a queen." he snapped back. her cheeks colored prettily.

"should a queen not be curious about her subjects?" she questioned.

"a queen should be. but rarely queens are. rarely monarchs are concerned of the wellbeing of their people unless it has a direct effect on themselves." his fingers curled into claws at his sides but he expelled a breath, returning to beating the dough into submission. "tell me, your grace, when was the last time that your husband looked at his serfs without the intention of seeing whether or not they'd uprise?"

"i am not my husband, good ser. i'd like you to remember that." 

"but you're still noble."

"does that condemn me in your eyes?"

"yes."

the door slammed as she left.


End file.
